Push ruth! I already can see the head,,,

Push ruth! puuush.. one more time and you can see
the head...
Nah that's not real, just a short clip of my nightmare
i had last night.
It all started with this:

Mirella one of my best friends who is in Australia on a holiday,
textmessaged me: ruth, the job intervieuw for nurse of last week turned out on a no..
So i messaged back: now what?
got message back: well, im going to try it somewhere else and if that does'nt work out either.. Im going to stop THE PILL.. and try to have a baby with Dennis..
( she was'nt joking)
I was so flabbergasted i didnt messaged back.
I could'nt imagine one of my best friends ( i know Mirella for already twenty years) is planning to have kids.

Here am i, a girl/young woman (however you want to call me) in her begin almost mid twenties.
Still dealing with the question: what the fuck i want to do with my life?
Laying in bed realizing the fun crazy days with mirella are maybe over..
Don't get me wrong people, i love kids i mean i work with them..
I just don't want them yet, not today, not tomorrow, not in the 1st upcomming five years.

I guess Mirellas breaking news had such an impact on me, that i had an nightmare about it of me having a baby..